Tuesday, April 15, 2014

On the Eve of the Second Anniversary of Dad's Passing

F. David Alger
Nov 9, 1947 - Apr 16, 2012

Two years have passed since I lost my Dad.  Two years.  Wow, that's strange to say.  In some ways it feels like he's been gone a lot longer and in other ways it seems like only yesterday. There are days when I couldn't shed a tear if I tried to and there are days when the pain is still raw. 
My Dad sure wasn't perfect and he was the first to admit it. There were times when he infuriated and frustrated me and times when he disappointed me. But there were also lots of funny, happy times and the thing I never doubted was his love for his kids and grand-kids and how fiercely proud of us he was.  Sometimes the way he would brag about us made me wonder if he was looking at us through rose coloured glasses :)

I miss Dad terribly and I have regrets.  Things I should or shouldn't have said, times I should have invited him over, times I should have called.  He didn't even get to be a senior citizen and he's missing seeing my children grow up.  He is missing Rob Ford's antics and he doesn't know that Brayden has tattoos (wait, maybe he wouldn't want to know those things...).  It all really sucks.

But the last thing Dad would want would be to see us cry. He'd want us to laugh, celebrate, succeed and be happy.  His death changed me and not for the good...yet.  I'm trying and I think I'll get there. 

Me and Dad on my wedding day
October 31, 2010

Not only does this week mark the two year anniversary of his passing but it's also the last days of my 30's.   *GULP*.  There are lots of things I've learned in my almost 40 years but there is also a lot I still need to learn and many things I need to change.  I plan to work on those changes and make my 40's the best decade yet - for Dad, but more importantly for my husband, my children and for ME.

If you are lucky enough to still have one or both of your parents living, hug them, appreciate them and be kind to them.         
I miss you Dad and tomorrow on what we've coined, "Dad Day", I will think of you and your wild stories, booming laugh and big heart with immeasurable love.

Dad and Oliver
February 2012