Saturday, February 01, 2014

Does The Biebs Deserve a Break?

Let me start by saying that in no way do I condone drug use, driving under the influence of anything, and generally acting like an irresponsible idiot.  I would also like to establish that I am not a Justin Bieber fan. The only song of his that I am vaguely familiar with is the one with that annoying hook that goes something like, "baby, baby, baby, oooh, baby, baby, baby".  Lyrical genius right there.

I also don't profess to know anything about the lifestyles of the rich and famous, the law, or psychology. But, what I do know a bit about are teenage boys. I know that many (not all) can be immature (naturally), and have a difficult time making good decisions or thinking long term. Even teenage boys who have zillions of dollars and whatever they want at their fingertips are still just that - boys. There is lots of research out there that says that the teenage brain (and yes, even 19 year olds) aren't fully developed and aren't completely "wired" yet.  They are a work in progress.  Google it if you want more info about that.  

So what am I getting at?  I know that Justin Bieber has made a real ass of himself lately and has been doing things that are inexcusable.  But I do feel for the kid.  And even more-so for his mom.  Without getting into details that would make my own teenage son disown me, we've had some rough patches in the past few years and it is hard.  HARD.  Heart-breaking. Gut-wrenching.  You feel like a failure as a parent, absolutely helpless, sad, worried, like you are to blame and that everything that boy is doing is in some way your fault.  It sucks.  I don't know anything about Bieber's mom, but I would guess that she's feeling at least a little bit of this.  This is her CHILD.  Think of your kids.  Do you wish them any harm? Do you hope that they'll grow up to be charged with assault or test positive for drug use?  No, of course you don't.  And I'm sure she doesn't either. 

I feel for the kid growing up on the world's stage.  It's a choice, I know, but in the end, he's someone's child. He's just a kid.  I never thought I'd say this, but I actually kind of agreed with the oh-so-controversial (and big TURD for lack of a better word) Toronto mayor, Rob Ford, when he defended The Biebs. You can read about that HERE.  We need to stop bullying this kid and hope that he gets the help he needs and doesn't end up six feet under well before his time. 

A friend at work recently passed along a poem called "Letting Go" (author unknown) that really hit home to me.  I don't know Justin's mom, but maybe, somehow, she'll find this post or maybe stumble across these incredible words somewhere.  In the meantime, I truly hope they find help, peace and that they are always there for each other. 

Letting Go - author unknown
To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
but to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

Updated February 3, 2014:  I wanted to update with some more thoughts that came to me after reading comments and thinking about this more.  I do not in any way excuse Justin Bieber's behaviour and I completely agree that he needs to be held responsible for his actions.  You do the crime, you do the time.  Also, as a role model to many, he has a responsibility to act in a certain way.  I totally get that.   My point really is that unfortunately, when someone is in the spotlight it seems OK to judge, condemn and bully.  That's got to stop. And again, I feel for his family and especially his Mom.  Following the tragic and untimely death Phillip Seymour Hoffman (again, do not cast stones, we do not know about his personal journey), it brings to light the downward spiral that can happen to those both in and out of the public eye.  Did you read that interview where PSH said that if he was 19 and had all that money and fame that he wouldn't have lived very long?  BIEBS - READ THIS!!